Regret Smoothie

Definition: The vile, multi-phase concoction you assemble while hungover, combining every recommended cure into one nauseating sludge. Typically involves blending electrolyte drinks, crushed painkillers, cold pizza scraps, and existential dread into a lumpy beverage that defies food science.

Chugging this cursed slurry represents peak desperation, where hydration goals violently collide with carb-loading. The resulting gut revolt either resets your body like a hard reboot or triggers immediate, colorful regret—no middle ground exists.

Example: He blended yesterday’s cold fries, a sports drink, aspirin, and sheer panic into a desperation brew, hoping it would shock his system functional.
The resulting biohazard beverage tasted like salty regret and triggered an immediate, violently colorful revolt against his questionable life choices.

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