Definition: The automatic switch to baby-talk condescension triggered when someone assumes you lack basic knowledge based on your job or appearance. Often deployed by overconfident professionals who mistake tradespeople for toddlers, resulting in bafflingly unnecessary explanations of concepts like “counting.” The sartorial prejudice is strong with this one—arrive in work boots, get treated like you eat crayons.
Example: When Mrs.
Jenkins crouched to whisper, “Sweetie, circles are round!” to the electrician parent, she activated full patronomatics. He replied in a cringe-whisper: “Teacher lady, wires go zap-zap if you touch the spinny spinny!”