Definition: The psychological antivirus software kids instinctively install after learning a parent works in adult entertainment, designed to aggressively filter any potential exposure to their content. This includes meticulously avoiding certain pornhub categories, pre-screening movie credits for aliases, and developing a sixth sense for dodging conversations about vintage adult films at parties. It manifests as hyper-vigilance against accidental algorithmic suggestions and a masterful ability to redirect searches away from the parental danger zone. Failure to update this internal firewall results in catastrophic system crashes (see: Orphan Goggles).
Example: “Jenny’s Mommyware is top-tier; she Googles her mom’s stage name weekly just to pre-emptively report and bury any new uploads. When someone tried to show her a retro compilation at a party, she ‘accidentally’ spilled nacho cheese on their laptop. Protection protocols engaged flawlessly.”