Definition: The undeniable ability of sufficient wealth to prevent or drastically reduce common, soul-crushing sources of unhappiness like eviction notices, predatory debt, or choosing between insulin and groceries. It doesn’t manufacture joy out of thin air, but it expertly dismantles the scaffolding of despair. Think of it as financial bubble wrap for life’s sharpest corners. The phrase “money can’t buy happiness” sounds profoundly ignorant to anyone whose misery stems directly from a lack of Misery Insurance.
Example: “Losing my job sucked, but my Misery Insurance meant I wasn’t panicking about rent. Cried in my heated pool instead of a bus shelter. Huge difference.”