Definition: A child whose personal hygiene is so catastrophically neglected by their caregivers that they resemble a mythical creature composed entirely of dirt, earwax, and despair. Their unwashed hair becomes a greasy helmet, their clothes emit a pungent bouquet of stale urine and mildew, and their fingernails could double as archaeological dig sites. Teachers often discover entire ecosystems thriving in their lunchboxes, featuring mold cultures or surprise insect roommates. The only glitter about them is the tragic sparkle of cradle cap under fluorescent classroom lights.
Example: “Ms. Perkins knew she had a full-blown Grime Sprite when Jason arrived with neck dirt thick enough to plant seeds in and a sandwich crawling with pantry beetles. She spent recess scrubbing his arms with wipes while he calmly explained the roaches were ‘just extra protein’.”