Definition: The desperate, unplanned maneuver executed mid-coitus when external chaos (emotional meltdowns, aggressive pets, or surprise life-plan announcements) transforms naked fun into a three-alarm dumpster fire. Usually involves frantic clothing retrieval while dodging biting dogs or sobbing explanations about recent breakups.
The signature move of anyone prioritizing survival over orgasm when a hookup spontaneously combusts—like fleeing a condo after your date screams their own name, or bailing when her fiancé’s voicemail plays mid-thrust. Often leaves emotional shrapnel, half-inflated mattresses, or confused chickens in its wake.
Example:
His frantic clothing retrieval began when her cat launched itself at his legs mid-thrust, transforming the night into pure survival mode over pleasure.
Hearing her fiancé’s voicemail play mid-coitus, he prioritized escape over finishing, leaving emotional shrapnel and his shirt behind in the sudden chaos.