Definition: When you keep pushing your own needs, boundaries, or emotional well-being into the “I’ll handle it later” furnace because you’re too busy tending to everyone else’s comfort or drowning in low-priority tasks. Classic moves include people-pleasing, avoiding tough talks, or doomscrolling instead of sleeping.
The deferred fire eventually erupts into resentment, burnout, or a full-blown crisis—like realizing you’ve taught people to treat you like a doormat while your sanity quietly combusts. Named for the hellscape created by perpetually deferring your self-care.
Example: Sarah skipped lunch *again* to finish Mark’s report, silencing her growling stomach and resentment, a classic people-pleasing move feeding the deferred fire.
Ignoring his exhaustion, Tom doomscrolled until 3 AM instead of confronting his roommate about rent, letting his own needs combust quietly in the furnace.