Definition: A person who chronically prioritizes rescuing others or maintaining peace to the point of actively undermining their own well-being. They swoop in to fix problems, absorb others’ stress, and avoid conflict at all costs, mistaking this self-erasure for noble…
Definition: The socially acceptable Ponzi scheme where you over-invest in others’ comfort at the expense of your own [emotional reserves], believing it buys loyalty. Short-term deposits of “yes” and [suppressed needs] create the [illusion of harmony] and control. Inevitably, the…
Definition: The act of forcibly maintaining a pleasant, agreeable facade while internally seething during minor conflicts or boundary violations, especially to avoid seeming difficult or causing momentary discomfort. It’s biting your tongue with a grin, swallowing frustrations to keep the…
Definition: The thick, life-sustaining sludge colloquially known as your first cup of coffee. Without this viscous, preferably black, liquid “ambition” poured directly into your system, higher brain functions remain offline, rendering complex tasks like speaking or finding pants utterly impossible.…
Definition: The frantic mental arithmetic performed immediately upon waking, calculating if hitting snooze just one more time is mathematically feasible without causing catastrophic lateness. Involves complex variables like commute time, predicted shower speed, and whether breakfast can be inhaled while…
Definition: The performative act of showering a new partner with exaggerated, saccharine-sweet affection (“puppy-dog” eyes, cutesy nicknames, constant doting) purely to manipulate or disarm them, while secretly viewing kindness as weakness and planning an eventual cold exit. It’s emotional cosplay—acting…
Definition: When someone aggressively fast-tracks commitment (meeting parents, future plans, “soulmate” declarations) while actively dodging any emotional vulnerability or deep conversation. It’s like emotional Velcro—superficially clingy but lacking genuine stickiness. They bombard you with labels and intensity to lock you…
Definition: The tragically misplaced belief that bringing a pre-packaged, low-effort item (like a canned soda) to a restaurant date constitutes impressive generosity or unique charm. It’s a desperate, cheap flex that instantly backfires, revealing profound social ineptitude. Instead of signaling…
Definition: When someone, typically on a date, aggressively explains or dictates menu choices to their companion, overriding stated preferences or dietary restrictions in a misguided attempt to demonstrate sophistication or control. Often involves insisting on expensive items the other person…
Definition: Not just the chaotic game from the comics, but the strategic art of retroactively changing the rules of any situation to guarantee your own win. It involves introducing spontaneous, nonsensical justifications mid-activity that only benefit you, rendering opponents helpless.…