Category Uncategorized

Penis Praise

Definition: The unexpectedly powerful ego boost a dude gets when his partner spontaneously compliments his junk during sex with awkwardly sincere specificity. Think “beautiful penis” declarations or anatomical appreciation whispered mid-thrust—it bypasses the brain and goes straight to the male…

Supply Chain

Definition: The collective hallucination that parts magically appear at factories exactly when needed. Looks slick on flowcharts, but actually involves engineers frantically scavenging obscure Chinese warehouses for chips while pretending your toaster wasn’t three shady transactions away from becoming a…

Duct-Tape Dynasty

Definition: A decaying system or institution that’s visibly held together by makeshift fixes, bureaucratic bandaids, and sheer luck—while everyone pretends it’s not one sneeze away from total implosion. Think public schools using expired textbooks patched with literal tape, or engineers…

Boring

Definition: A workout routine so simple and repetitive that fitness influencers weep from lack of content opportunities. Characterized by doing the same foundational lifts (like 5×5) forever, focusing purely on progressive overload instead of neon resistance bands or “muscle confusion.”…

Flushfunds

Definition: The act of spending cash on bogus health products that promise miraculous results but only deliver expensive bodily functions. Think detox teas, “spot-reduction” workout gear, or “all-natural” supplements that exploit wellness trends while emptying your wallet faster than a…

Overcooked Noodles

Definition: A state where reality loses its coherence, becoming a soggy, indistinct mess of sensory input and fractured thoughts. Like noodles boiled too long, everything blurs together—faces melt into smears, sounds distort into muffled echoes, and time stretches or snaps…

Static Shock

Definition: That gut-punch moment when everyday reality glitches hard. Mundane stuff like wall patterns, toilet paper, or a tree outside suddenly morphs into something monstrous and overwhelming – multiplying infinitely, spelling accusations, or feeling like universal doom triggers. Time warps…

Sainthood

Definition: The suspicious habit of claiming all past partners were “crazy” or “toxic,” implying you alone were the blameless saint in every failed relationship. Often a subtle warning that you avoid accountability like emotional landmines while fishing for sympathy points.…

Crimson-Tinting

Definition: The delusional act of romanticizing blatantly toxic behavior by mentally recasting crimson red flags as charming quirks or passionate virtues. Mistaking boundary-stomping for “dedication,” pathological lying for “protective secrecy,” or emotional manipulation for “intense chemistry.” Essentially gaslighting yourself into…

Entrée

Definition: When someone aggressively pushes their romantic agenda during a date like it’s the main course nobody ordered. Typically involves steamrolling boundaries, unsolicited grand gestures, or cringey performances—forcing their “entrance” into your affection like a delusional maître d’. The resulting…