Definition: Someone pathologically addicted to external validation, performing exhausting mental gymnastics to harvest praise, likes, or even pity from anyone within earshot or scroll-distance. They’ll twist themselves into human pretzels of people-pleasing, humblebragging, or manufactured crises just to feel the…
Definition: A person hopelessly enslaved to nasal spray, whose sinuses rebel with apocalyptic congestion the moment the bottle leaves their clawed grip. They develop a terrifying tolerance, spraying industrial quantities up each nostril just to achieve five minutes of sweet,…
Definition: The predatory entity (usually a corporation, algorithm, or politician) that intentionally designs experiences to hijack your brain’s reward system, creating dependency through endless micro-hits of feel-good chemicals. They weaponize everything from autoplay features and rage-bait headlines to personalized AI…
Definition: The persistent psychic noise generated when your pain is systematically invalidated, making it impossible to process your own suffering. It’s the internalized echo of “You’re overreacting” or “Others have it worse” that drowns out your authentic emotions like radio…
Definition: Growing up with guardians whose reliability is as predictable as a slot machine payout, leaving you in a perpetual state of anticipatory dread. One day they’re your champion, the next they vanish emotionally or bail on promises, forcing you…
Definition: The cumulative psychological erosion caused by enduring relentless, low-level criticism from people in your daily orbit. Each nitpick feels insignificant alone, but together they act like abrasive grit slowly wearing down your self-worth and emotional resilience. It’s not dramatic…
Definition: The theoretical, consequence-free reunion shag where the ex in question is literally deceased – a grimly specific loophole appealing only to those haunted by unresolved intimacy and grief. Eliminates typical risks like awkward breakfasts or renewed attachment, but introduces…
Definition: The instant, soul-crushing clarity and regret that floods in approximately 2.7 seconds after sleeping with an ex you absolutely despise. Characterized by a cold sweat, profound self-loathing, and the visceral understanding that you’ve just donated your dignity to someone…
Definition: The dangerous, temporary amnesia induced by unresolved physical chemistry with an ex, causing one to forget every toxic trait, emotional scar, and logical reason they broke up in the first place. Symptoms include rationalizing terrible decisions with phrases like…
An online media figure engaging in political discourse with the explicit or implicit purpose of directing their audience to their own or some aligned value-extracting media project in the form of a podcast, substack, publication or the like.