Definition: (noun): Dropping fat stacks on jewelry/flowers/gaming consoles after a nuclear fight INSTEAD of saying “I fucked up, let’s talk.” The shiny distraction avoids accountability like a pro. Why it’s toxic: Gifts ≠ growth. It’s emotional bribery that replaces “I’m…
Definition: (verb): The desperate act of plastering “MY FOREVER 😍💍👼” paragraphs on socials every 5 minutes to publicly brand your partner like cattle, usually while the relationship crumbles offline. Less “love letter,” more insecurity scream. Why it’s toxic: It’s digital…
Definition: (noun): When your partner drowns you in texts/calls/stalking apps because they’re convinced you’ll evaporate if they don’t monitor your every breath. Masquerades as “deep love” but is actually separation anxiety cranked to 11. Why it’s toxic: It’s not concern,…
Definition: > noun. The bizarre ritualistic question (“Smoking or Non-Smoking?”) posed by every hostess at every mid-tier restaurant chain before 2005. The sound of societal acceptance of lung cancer as an appetizer. Often accompanied by the visual of a hazy,…
Definition: > noun. The glorious, frantic crescendo of a cassette tape rewinding – a high-pitched whirrrrr building speed until it hits the absolute physical limit of the spool with a definitive THUMP!, followed by a sad little whine as the…
Definition: > noun. That high-pitched, slightly plasticky squeak-chunk sound signaling someone you desperately wanted to talk to (or were stalking) just logged onto AOL Instant Messenger. Instant dopamine hit circa 1998-2005. Preceded frantic keyboard mashing to say “hey” before they…
Definition: Any black 1967 Chevrolet Impala hardtop, regardless of actual provenance, instantly recognizable and revered solely due to its iconic status from the TV show Supernatural. Owners lean heavily into the fandom, often accessorizing with fake FBI badges, rock salt…
Definition: An exceptionally rare or visually stunning car (like a Jaguar XJ220) that an owner purchases solely to admire as a static objet d’art, never actually intending to drive it beyond a gentle roll in and out of the garage.…
Definition: The specific, overwhelming sense of satisfaction derived from owning a seemingly boring, older American car (like a Buick Grand National) that secretly possesses terrifying, tire-shredding power capable of humiliating modern sports cars. It combines nostalgia with the visceral joy…
Definition: The fierce, almost pathological devotion to defending a fantastically cheesy 90s fantasy film featuring a wisecracking, morally ambiguous dragon voiced by Sean Connery. It involves overlooking dodgy CGI, clunky dialogue, and predictable tropes because the core bond between knight…