Definition: That earth-shattering moment when someone’s toxic bullshit boomerangs back so hard it obliterates their entire existence. Think prison time after weaponizing CPS, or a schemer’s million-dollar land turning worthless overnight. It’s cosmic payback dialed to eleven. The glorious fallout…
Definition: A brilliantly petty parental punishment where a bully is sentenced to perform menial school tasks during coveted free time. Forces them to trade power trips for actual labor, scrubbing graffiti they might’ve inspired or organizing games they ruined. The…
Definition: The surgical removal of a bully’s prized privileges or freedoms as targeted behavioral intervention. Inspired by parents who yank recess, team spots, or personal expression to force accountability—like sentencing a kid to janitorial duty instead of playground time. This…
Definition: The desperate, unplanned maneuver executed mid-coitus when external chaos (emotional meltdowns, aggressive pets, or surprise life-plan announcements) transforms naked fun into a three-alarm dumpster fire. Usually involves frantic clothing retrieval while dodging biting dogs or sobbing explanations about recent…
Definition: That instant nope-out when sex gets derailed by absurdity or emotional whiplash. Think: your partner ugly-crying over their ex mid-thrust, their demon-dog launching a furry SWAT raid on the bed, or them casually mentioning future kids… on a first-date…
Definition: When someone maintains all surface-level obligations with robotic precision—showing up to work, paying bills, even cracking jokes—while their inner world has fully collapsed. They execute tasks like a sleepwalker, meeting expectations without engagement or hope. The eerie competence masks…
Definition: That unnervingly flat chuckle someone makes after casually dropping a deeply morbid or hopeless statement—like joking about not needing retirement plans or sighing, “Wouldn’t mind if a bus hit me today.” It’s not dark humor; it’s a numb, hollow…
Definition: The original low-fidelity wellness hack. It involves deliberately propelling yourself forward using legs, typically outdoors, without spending money on gear, apps, or overpriced hydration. Just you, some pavement or dirt, and maybe a podcast. This free anti-depressant/sleep aid/creative muse…
Definition: The blissfully horizontal state achieved after deliberately ignoring your phone to indulge in a cheap, analog pleasure – like napping in a sunbeam, staring at clouds, or just stretching on the floor. Zero screens, zero agenda, maximum chill. It’s…
Definition: The spontaneous, highly motivational feedback a man receives during sex that validates his technique and physical attributes. Includes phrases like “don’t stop,” “you have a beautiful penis,” or “this is your pussy”—all equivalent to a five-star rating in the…