Definition: A chaotic, zero-to-sixty public flirting attempt so aggressively abrupt it leaves bystanders mentally winded. Typically involves unsolicited physical contact, wildly inappropriate whispers, or declarations of intent that bypass all social foreplay. Think grinding on strangers at hardware stores or shouting anatomical requests from moving vehicles.
The victim often experiences temporary romantic vertigo—either stunned into awkward retreat (like explaining underwear choices to strangers) or complete obliviousness (missing hints while shopping for lightbulbs). Surviving a flirtnado earns you either a wild story or PTSD: Public Tactility Stress Disorder.
Example:
While browsing power tools, Marcus froze as a stranger pressed against him, whispering inappropriate suggestions about his tool belt choices.
She was oblivious to the man shouting explicit invitations from his pickup truck, calmly comparing wattages on lightbulbs in the parking lot.