Dodgemap

Definition: The sudden, crystal-clear mental blueprint revealing exactly how much future misery you just avoided by bailing on a doomed relationship, especially an engagement. It highlights every landmine (abuse, incompatibility, sheer laziness) you narrowly missed, making the escape feel like a tactical win.

It’s often accompanied by the bewildering sight of your ex (and sometimes yourself) effortlessly finding a seemingly perfect upgrade within months, while you or others are still navigating the dating trenches solo, muttering “Where’s my damn upgrade?”

(Word Count: 58)

Example:

Calling off the wedding revealed a tactical win; the crystal-clear blueprint showed the controlling behavior and financial recklessness I narrowly avoided.

Seeing my ex engaged six months later felt surreal, while I’m still slogging through the dating trenches wondering where my effortless upgrade is hiding.

Share your love