Definition: The exhausting mental gymnastics of mentally detaching from sex to critique your own performance in real-time. Like hitting an invisible pause button mid-act to obsess over your stomach rolls, sounds, or whether your partner is mentally grocery shopping.
This turns intimacy into a solo sport where you’re simultaneously player, critic, and a panicked coach convinced everyone’s losing. The inevitable shame spiral leaves you feeling like a sweaty, malfunctioning robot while your brain replays highlights for an imaginary panel of judges.
Example:
Mid-kiss, she suddenly fixated on her breathing sounding weird, mentally replaying it while worrying he noticed, completely detaching from the moment.
He spent the entire time analyzing his movements like a coach, terrified of being awkward, convinced an invisible panel was judging him harshly.