Definition: The frantic mental arithmetic performed immediately upon waking, calculating if hitting snooze just one more time is mathematically feasible without causing catastrophic lateness. Involves complex variables like commute time, predicted shower speed, and whether breakfast can be inhaled while running.
This ritual inevitably results in false confidence (“7 minutes is PLENTY!”) followed by panicked scrambling when reality hits. The outcome is perpetually being late, yet the snoozeculation continues daily, a triumph of sleepy hope over bitter experience.
Example: Bleary-eyed, he performed frantic snoozeculation: 9 minutes snooze + 5-minute shower = perfectly fine, forgetting the inevitable search for his keys and wallet.
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Her snoozeculation concluded skipping breakfast and a record-speed shower would work; reality involved wet hair and sprinting for the bus she barely caught.