TellYourWiFiSaidHi

Definition: The passive-aggressive digital era’s version of your neighbor awkwardly flirting via router. It transforms a mundane network broadcast into a territorial, vaguely threatening declaration of proximity. Perfect for when you suspect someone’s stealing bandwidth but lack concrete evidence, so you weaponize SSID ambiguity instead. Essentially, it’s Wi-Fi’s equivalent of leaving a suspiciously specific note on a shared fridge.

Example: Karen kept lagging during Zoom yoga, so she renamed her network to TellYourWiFiSaidHi. Now Dave next door sweats bullets every time he connects, convinced she’s auditing his Netflix binges.

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