Definition: Overcompensating for a crumbling relationship by carpet-bombing social media with cringe-worthy “love manifestos” that scream “MINE!” like a seagull guarding a trash can. These performative novels tagged #RelationshipGoals typically feature phrases like “my forever” while the comment section whispers about last week’s breakup scare. It’s emotional territorial pissing disguised as devotion – equal parts mating ritual and hostage video. The posts get longer as the trust gets shorter.
Example: “After their blowup fight about trust issues, Chad dropped a smotherboard post: ‘To the queen who owns my soul (location tagged: her therapist’s parking lot) 💍🔥💯.’ Meanwhile, Amber was screenshotting it for our group chat with ‘WTF is wrong with him and why am I sweating like a suspect?'”