Definition: The audacious, neon-drenched confidence of a visually stunning but critically panned sci-fi sequel that proudly wears its flaws like glowing circuit board armor. Characterized by sleek aesthetics, a killer synth soundtrack, and dialogue that sounds profound until you actually…
Definition: The immediate, non-negotiable demand to return a specific sentimental or absurdly mundane item that holds inexplicable personal value, usually delivered with intense, borderline-psychotic seriousness. Originating from cinematic hostage negotiations involving stuffed animals, it now describes any situation where someone…
Definition: A child who masters absurdly advanced manipulation tactics to secure scraps of affection their caregivers withhold. These mini-Machiavellis might fake illnesses, perform hyper-competence, or weaponize charm because crying, hugging, or asking directly got them ignored or punished. Their emotional…
Definition: The compulsive, knee-jerk apology reflex developed by kids who’ve been conditioned to preemptively atone for merely existing in their parents’ vicinity. These children apologize for breathing too loud, needing food, or accidentally catching an adult’s gaze, treating basic human…
Definition: A child whose personal hygiene is so catastrophically neglected by their caregivers that they resemble a mythical creature composed entirely of dirt, earwax, and despair. Their unwashed hair becomes a greasy helmet, their clothes emit a pungent bouquet of…
Definition: The brutal, cumulative toll extracted on your attention span, mental well-being, and basic life functionality by endless short-form video apps like TikTok. It’s the brain fog, forgotten responsibilities, and evaporated hours spent watching 15-second clips of dancing pets, life…
Definition: The ever-widening chasm between someone’s meticulously curated, filter-saturated Instagram persona and their actual, unedited dumpster fire of a reality. It’s the cognitive dissonance required to post a #blessed sunset yoga pic while ignoring three days of dirty dishes and…
Definition: The specific state of passive, algorithm-induced apathy achieved after prolonged exposure to Facebook’s curated feed of outrage bait, AI-generated slop, and boomer memes. Characterized by scrolling past blatant misinformation with the emotional engagement of a dial-up modem connecting. It’s…
Definition: A retail wizard employed in a hyper-specialized niche store (think vintage Tamagotchis or bespoke clown noses), whose primary skill is the psychic ability to locate the exact obscure item that makes a customer’s eyes light up like a pinball…
Definition: Someone who ditches earthly concerns to spend their days utterly consumed by cosmic phenomena, obsessively analyzing data from telescopes or running simulations of black hole brunches. It’s the ultimate fantasy gig for space nerds, blending the intellectual thrill of…