Definition: The experience of being physically present but systematically erased from family memories, photos, or decisions like a glitch in the Matrix. Parents exhibit selective amnesia about your achievements while curating shrine-like devotion to another sibling’s needs. You become a…
Definition: A coworker who monopolizes team resources by framing every minor task as a five-alarm emergency, leaving others scrambling for scraps. Known for weaponized incompetence and crisis cosplay to hijack managers’ attention. Their self-inflicted dumpster fires always trump your deadlines,…
Definition: When parents create an impenetrable shield of accommodations around one child using their medical condition as a perpetual hall pass, rendering siblings functionally invisible. The golden child gets coddled like radioactive material while the other kid survives on emotional…
Definition: When a partner capitulates to capitalist overlords just to end a shopping ordeal, ignoring blatant disrespect for the illusory convenience of “getting it done.” Victims defend overpriced jerks who sneered at their spouse, prioritizing a receipt over retail justice.…
Definition: A retail affliction where sales staff become optically challenged toward customers who don’t fit their luxury-spender fantasy, thus forfeiting commissions via sartorial snap judgments. Symptoms include pointing at price tags like a museum guard and selective charm that only…
Definition: The automatic switch to baby-talk condescension triggered when someone assumes you lack basic knowledge based on your job or appearance. Often deployed by overconfident professionals who mistake tradespeople for toddlers, resulting in bafflingly unnecessary explanations of concepts like “counting.”…
Definition: The dizzying moment when someone academically sheltered realizes a blue-collar worker possesses superior practical knowledge in their field. Characterized by flustered backtracking, sweating, and the distinct sound of crumbling superiority. Common when teachers discover electricians do tradesperson’s trigonometry daily…
Definition: The phenomenon where service workers fawn excessively over clients in formal attire while treating casually dressed customers like invisible peasants. Often involves a sudden, desperate shift in demeanor when realizing the “scruffy” person actually controls the budget. Named after…
Definition: The delusional assumption that skilled laborers like electricians or plumbers can’t grasp “complex” subjects like math or logic. Symptoms include asking a welder if they know what gravity is or explaining Ohm’s Law to an engineer. Often stems from…
Definition: The act of physically lowering yourself to speak to someone as if they’re a confused pug, often paired with exaggerated enunciation. Common among tall educators or retail staff weaponizing height privilege to imply intellectual superiority. Victims may retaliate with…